A Fine Mess

The group had met in Sugar Rush for a little down time. Blanky stood in the middle of the fudge road with Ionia and Turbo and grinned at them. "Wow, I feel like im in some wacky wonderland with you two."

Turbo just made faces at Blanky again as Ionia hiccupped nervously. She wasn't sure how Blanky would react to seeing Sugar Rush and if she was suspecting anything from her and Turbo. Thankfully, she was too busy looking at Turbo.

"What's up with you? Why the faces?"

"I'm angry at everyone!"

"But, why?"

Turbo frowned darkly. "Becauthe everyone ith mean to me when I'm the greatetht rather ever!"

"Oh? Who are these meanies?" Blanky, being a police officer, felt it was her duty to take care of any trouble regardless of the source. "You can tell me."

Turbo waved his arms. "EVERYONE!" His face dropped as he slumped his shoulders. Ionia decided, for no reason whatsoever, that it was the ideal situation to begin butt dancing right near Turbo's face, to which he responded by flapping his hands at her.

Blanky smiled. "But not us! Anyway, whoever is mean is just jealous of you, don't forget!"

"Well, who WOULDN'T be? I'm the greatetht rather ever!" He was interrupted by Ionia butt dancing right next to him again. "WILL YOU THTOP THAT!"

"Exactly. But sometimes jealous people are mean... like wasn't Felix mean?"

Turbo folded his arms and kicked at a nut that was by his feet. "Hmph, everyone thought I wath going to take over their gameth or thomething."

"Ahh, dont pay those paranoid idiots any heed!"

"All becauthe of thome PREVIOUTH me."

Blanky cocked an eyebrow. "Wait... Previous you?"

"Apparently," explained Turbo, "there wath a Turbo Time game in before mine. The me in that went nutth and took over this game, Sugar Ruth, or thomething. Tho when I came along everyone wath thuthpiciouth."

Blanky was silent as he spoke and watched as Ionia stopped dancing around and silently plopped herself down next to Turbo allowing him to lean against her leg armour.

"Strange. So they're upset with you for that?"

Turbo nodded sadly, to which Ionia responded by patting him on the helmet. He flailed his arms wildly at her. "You are THO ANNOYING!"

"Well," chuckled Blanky, "They are wrong, youve done nothing!"

"I know that. They don't th... AGH!" His sentence was cut short as Ionia picked him up and cradled him like a baby, all in an attempt to get him more riled up than what he was. He was always so tightly wound and Ionia found it irresistible. "PUT ME DOWN!"

Ionia just ignored him and began to pet him like a cat in a bad guy's lap. She looked up at Blanky as she did it, grinned and put on a deep voice. "Blanky I've been expecting you."

Turbo rolled his eyes. "Idiot!"

Blanky laughed and shook her head as she watched the pair. Turbo's unimpressed scowl, however, was short lived as Ionia petted him more softly and he began to get more comfortable. "Hmnph. A little lower."

Ionia glanced down at him, but didn't say anything and did as he asked. She petted him on his back lower and flushed pink as he virtually melted in her arms. She felt his body shudder as he let out a contented sigh. "Thaaaat'th the thpot!"

Blanky averted her eyes, worried that it was beginning to become a little more than just innocent petting. "Oh my." She glanced back to see Ionia smiling in triumph over the fact that she had got him to show some form of affection in public in front of someone. Blanky gave her the thumbs up and started to think back to Birkin. She knew she'd be seeing him later, but she suddenly felt lonely.

Ionia chirped happily as Turbo mumbled incoherently in her arms, dribbling down her hands. "I knew he'd crack one daaaay~"

"Well," laughed Blanky, "I dont think you need me as a chaperone any longer."

Ionia tilted her head, ignoring the fact that Turbo was now drooling all down her arms. "What's a chapanapaerama?"

"Uh. A chaperone? You know, kind of like an escort."

"Oh. I needed one?"

"No, but I felt a bit like one to you two, but I see its not necessary." She holstered her gun and gave Ionia a wave as Turbo's drool finally reached Ionia's legs and dripped onto the road below.

Birkin happened to be walking nearby and was approaching Ionia and Turbo. He waved at them and noticed Blanky further down the road. He yelled out to her, but as he put his foot down he slipped on the pool of dribble that had formed in front of Ionia and went skidding down the road towards Blanky. "ACK!"

Blanky let out a surprised squeal as Birkin came bombing towards her and collided shoulder first. Birkin, in a heap on the floor, groaned. "Oooouch."

The squeal snapped Turbo out of his euphoria almost instantly and he shot up from in Ionia's arms to see what was going on. "Hm? What!? I heard a thqueal and I didn't cauthe it, what'th going on!?"

Blanky yelled that it was nothing and apologized for disturbing them both. Turbo didn't like that and just gave her a dark look as Blanky returned her attention to Birkin who groaned loudly. "Are you OK?"

"Ugh. Yeah. Just a bit of road rash. What the heck was that I slipped in?"

"Er...you dont wanna know, trust me."

"Why? Is it harmful? Besides making me skid and hurt myself, that is."

Suddenly, they were interrupted by a loud, almost girly squeal from Ionia and Turbo's direction and watched as Turbo finally noticed that he was in her arms being petted. In public. He flailed around, leaped out and landed on his butt on the road. "UGH! YUCK!"

Blanky couldn't help but laugh. The racer's attempts at making it seem as if nothing was going on was incredibly entertaining to watch. She looked back at Birkin and pulled a sheepish face. "No, it's not harmful. But, we interrupted something." Her face flushed red as she nodded in the direction of Ionia and Turbo. Birkin raised a brow.

"You still haven't said what the stuff is." He was always wary of substances that weren't identifiable and he needed to know for his own peace of mind.

"Body fluids!" Blanky whispered as quietly as she could and watched as Birkin's face did flip flops trying to understand what she had just said. He looked down at his feet, back up to Blanky, over to Ionia and Turbo and back down to his feet again. "Wait..." His eyes widened in shock. "What the..."

Blanky just nodded and flushed even redder as Birkin cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled at the two across the way. "THAT IS DISGUSTING! YOU ARE IN PUBLIC!" Ionia just waved at him and mouthed a 'hello' as if nothing was even happening and Turbo gave him a look as if he was about to staple things to his head should he ever tell anyone about what had just happened.

"No no no!" Blanky patted him on his arm to make him stop yelling. "It's dribble, yeah, thats what it is!"

"Just dribble? I hope that's all it is."

"So, anyway." Blanky felt it would be wise of her to change the subject. "I'm back in town, this time its not for pleasure, but duty."

Turbo cracked a smirk and snorted loudly. "Hehehe doody." This caused Ionia to laugh raucously sending a flock of licorice ravens fleeing in terror. "OH MY GODS HAHAHA!"

Blanky just ignored the two and scrunched up her nose. "I was sent to protect someone, namely you, Birkin."

Blanky was interrupted again by Turbo and Ionia who insisted on continuing their joke. "The'th here for doody."

"I hope she remembers to wash her hands."

"Hey, Ionia. Hehehe. I thmell thomething."

"What?"

"DOODY!"

The pair fell about on the ground laughing like lunatics as Blanky and Birkin stared at them with unimpressed faces.

"So, why me?" Birkin finally spoke taking the attention off the two jokers.

"Well, you may not be aware Birkin, but you are being targeted. Your lab, to be exact. Seems some illegal organisation is after your herbs."

"...They are? How did they even find out!?" He scratched at his chin.

"No idea," Blanky shrugged and gave him a sympathetic look. "Spies I guess."

"I don't understand." Birkin zoned out as he lost himself in thought. He pondered and pondered over just who could be behind such an attack on his lab and research data. The only people he knew who might even have a single clue about what was going on was... "It couldn't be... could it?"

"What is it?" Blanky flinched a little over the severe look on Birkin's face.

"I think I may know who it is and if I'm right, it's gonna cause problems."

Blanky instantly knew who he meant and heaved a sigh. "Wesker. That backstabbing snake, I knew I could not trust him. My instincts were right."

Turbo shot upright and looked at them both with curiosity. "Wethker?"

He was ignored as the officer continued her musings. "Though what he wants with your herbs is still unknown. I was sent to investigate and protect you and the lab."

"Oh, I think I know." Birkin was suddenly cut off by Turbo who yelled and jumped up and down for their attention. "THCUTHE ME! Who ith thith Wethker?"He hated being ignored.

"Someone he used to work with. Seems like he is out to get him though, even so."

Turbo scratched at his chin and shook his head. "Thoundth like me and the twinth."

Ionia's eyes instantly shot open and she sat bolt upright. "T-T-Twins?"

Blanky looked over to the racer and tilted her head. "You have a twin?"

"No thilly, they were my track rivalth. My brotherth really. They were jutht called the Turbo Twinth. No nameth though."

Ionia let out a squeal of delight at the thought of Turbo having two twin bothers. She fanned herself in an attempt to calm down, but realized something. She shot Turbo a confused look. "How come I've never met them?"

"Becauthe!"

"Because, what?"

"Becauthe I don't want them to meet you." He gave her his best serious face and stomped a foot on the ground. "They will jutht try to embarrath me and thtuff! They are not nithe people!"

Blanky had turned her attention back to Birkin and was trying to figure out for herself what it was that Wesker would want with his herbs.

"I can only assume at this point he needs them for his own research." Sighed Birkin as he leaned against a candy cane tree.

"Oh boy... I knew he couldnt be trusted, but targeting you and your lab is just too much."

"No. Well, for me it's not really news. He's just that type of person."

Turbo grinned over at Birkin and wrung his hands together. "Thoundth like my kinda guy!"

Blanky couldn't believe what was happening. Why Wesker? Why couldn't it have been someone else? Someone who was not involved with her friends. "So I see. A backstabber!"

Birkin chuckled. "It's how we got the lab in the first place. I should have expected it sooner now that I think about it." He knew who Wesker was as much as Wesker knew who he was deep down. It was sport for them and he was now ready for the contest that was seemingly being laid at his feet.

"Oh well, the important thing is im here now. I will get to the bottom of this." Blanky adjusted her holster and smiled brightly.

Turbo was thoroughly entertained. He laughed loudly and exclaimed how he liked Wesker's style, only to be hushed by a very angry Blanky. "OoooOOoooooOOooo. Thomeone get the pink handbagth! Touchy!" He pouted at her and put his hands on his hips. "Mith touchy pantth!"

Refusing to take his bait, Blanky just turned back to Birkin and patted his shoulder. Turbo was not impressed about being ignored yet again and stuck out his tongue defiantly, only to be scooped up by Ionia.

"I wonder if Axel is aware," mused Birkin. It was true, he hadn't thought about Axel until then. He had no reason to think she would be involved, but with Wesker's manipulative side, anything was possible.

"I don't know. Hopefully she'll be safe. What a predicament huh?"

"Hmmm. My bet is that she doesn't."

Turbo peered out from a gap in Ionia's arms. "Whoth Axthel?"

"She's my friend. Which makes this all the more awkward" Blanky played with her brown hair awkwardly. Such a situation had never come up before and it felt like alien territory. Regardless, she felt that she had to go on with it, it was her mission after all and, being the good cop that she was, she was not about to flake out. "Oh, Birkin? One more thing," she leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I'll be mostly undercover, so. You know. Shh."

He nodded slowly and turned to look at Turbo who had taken to laying over Ionia's forearms with his head resting on his palms. "Quite the meth you have on your handth," he chirped.

Ionia peered down at him. "Meth? We aren't druggies!"

"Meth. METH!"

"OH! MESS! Gotcha."

"Meth..." Blanky giggled. She found his lisp to be entertaining even in a bad situation.

"Whatever ith going on it thoundth like you could uthe all the help you can get." Turbo flashed a big, toothy grin at them. "Which ith why," he got to his feet and stood on Ionia's armour, "I Turbo... The gretetht rather ever... Will..." He paused for dramatic effect. He loved theatrics. "Not be helping you." He cackled evily and slumped back down into Ionia's arms.

Blanky rolled her eyes and smiled sarcastically. "We wont be needing your help anyway. This is no business for kids, you know. This is serious!"

The racer's face dropped into a morbidly unimpressed expression as he shot to his feet again. "Do I look like a kid to you?"

"No, but you sure do act like one! Anyway, you'd only get in the way and maybe even drum up trouble for yourself and the others in your game."

Turbo's face flushed a bright red as he tried to restrain the anger that was seering through his veins. "Hgnnn! I'll have you know that I am a geniuth!"

"Look, it's for your own good. Seriously."

Birkin tapped Blanky on the arm and gave her a sly smile. "Why not let him help? He may get erased and be out of our hair."

"Say," laughed Blanky, "That's not a bad..." She was interupted by Turbo who raged loudly and stomped his feet. "I HEARD THAT!"

Ionia's eyes widened and she snatched Turbo up, holding him close to her defensively. "He goes, I go!"

Turbo looked up at her with a brow raised wondering what the hell she was doing. "What the..." Her face was dead pan and serious, which was not like her at all.

"Well," sighed Blanky, "You're welcome to! But, don't say I didn't warn you. Try to stay out of trouble and don't get in my way, OK?"

Ionia flinched and held Turbo tighter. "I don't want him to get erased!"

"THTOP IT ALREADY!" Turbo was getting snuggled so much that his body was beginning to produce static.

"Of course you don't Ionia, fair enough. We wouldn't want either of you to come to trouble. It can get quite dangerous."

"That's what I'm made for." Ionia raised a hand. "I do dangerouth... Er... Ahem. Dangerous stuff every day in my game. I'm heavily armoured. And I do stuff like protecting and fighting every day. That's what my game is about. I protect villages. But..." She looked down at Turbo and poked his nose with a finger. "He's so squishy and fragile and..."

"I am not! I'M TURBO!"

Blanky couldn't help but grin. "Which is why you'd do best to stay out of the the way, Turbo. I'll be monitoring the lab closely. And I won't stay in a hotel, but in my vehicle outside the lab." She looked at Ionia and wrinkled her nose in thought. "Well if youre sure you can do it and not come to harm, I'd appreciate the help. Thanks."

Ionia nodded, then had an idea and waved at Blanky enthusiastically. "I know! Turbo can get you guys coffee!"

He did not like that idea at all. "No. No, no, no. I am NOT a waitreth!"

Blanky grinned widely. "What about if I paid you, huh? And you too, Ionia."

Turbo instantly stopped his angry flailing as soon as payment was mentioned and smiled over at Blanky with his big, yellow teeth. "I'm lithening..."

Ionia just shook her head. "I don't need payment, thanks."

"I do, though. Tho make a dethent offer."

Blanky waved a hand and rolled her eyes. "Sure, we'll discuss it, dude. But right now we need to get to the lab."

Birkin handed Blanky a key card and glanced at his watch. "The lab is pretty much empty at the moment. Just my security systems up."

Blanky took the card and nodded. "It may be an idea to bug the place and install more cameras."

Turbo's eyes lit up. "I could do that! I'm good at mechanical thtuff."

"He really is." Ionia grinned and turned pink. Her sudden outburst caused Turbo to look up at her in shock, his own face flushing over her suggestive comment.

Blanky didn't notice, much to his relief, and continued to discuss the lab. "What, bugging? Great! There. You have your job! Thanks you two, I appreciate it. I really do."

"What are we talking? Thecret locationth like ventth and thtuff, or full thcale bugging?"

Ionia thought for a moment and looked at Blanky. "I'd coat the place in them."

"As long as they aren't obvious you can put them where you want, Turbo." Birkin threw him a key card and pointed at him as a warning. "If I find out you have touched a single console, experiment, specimen, or chemical I will use you as my next expermient, understand?"

"PLEATHE! I'm Turbo! Trutht me!"

"Well, this is all great, but now I'd say we all get a bite to eat and then get some rest. It's taken me all day to get here."

Turbo's eyes lit up again as he realized that Blanky had her cop car on the road. "Whothe driving?"

"Me." Blanky gave him a stern look and walked over to her car, opened the door and gestrured for him to get in. "Get in."

Turbo, with a face like thunder, stomped his way over, scuffed a foot against the road and plonked himself in the back seat as heavily as he could. He gave her a quick grimace before he shuffled over. "Thpoil thport."

Blanky smiled in triumph and looked to Ionia who was giving the door of the car odd looks. "Um. Ummm. I don't think my wings... " She attempted to get in, but caught her wings as she ducked down. "NNNGHH OUCH!"

Turbo leaned over, took hold of her arms and attempted to help her get in by pulling as hard as he could.

Blanky just rolled her eyes impatiently. "Is it possible to take the wings off?"

"Yeth it ith. I have d..." Turbo stopped himself mid-sentence. "N-N-Nevermind."

Birkin grinned through the window at the racer whose face had flushed red again. "What was that?"

"Nothing."

Ionia whistled innocently and removed the wings and boosters from her back. She squatted down into the car and held them in place in front of her, unfortunately blocking the view to the rear for Blanky in the process. But nothing could be done about that. She glanced over at Turbo and smiled as he looked back at her. He realized what her smile meant. They, with the wings blocking the view, finally had some privacy to act normal around each other, at least until they were out of the car again. He slowly reached his hand over and took hold of hers. Ionia rubbed her thumb against his fingers and leaned her head back, staring into his eyes as Blanky started the car.

"Everyone alright back there?"

Ionia chuckled. "Turbo-tastic."

So Obvious

Birkin scratched his head in confusion as to how he ended up in the situation he was in. He had agreed to meet Blanky again, but this time a small, grey skinned man in a racing suit and helmet had tagged along too. His eyes and teeth were bright yellow and Birkin could only assume he drank a lot of coffee and smoked ten packets of cigs a day. "So, who is your friend?"

"I don't know. I've never really met him before." Blanky was watching the small man cautiously. "I thought he came with you!"

"The name'th Turbo." He grinned at them both with his huge yellow teeth and brushed off his racing suit with one hand. Birkin's eyebrows raised, instantly noting his strange lisp.

Blanky couldn't resist a small jibe. "Been smoking too much, have you?"

Turbo's head instantly shot upwards to look her dead in the eye. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well, how do you explain the yellow teeth?"

Turbo's smile dropped into grimace as Birkin attempted to hold in a fit of amused laughter. "How do you exthplain your being annoying... neth?" His yellow eyes flashed at her as he jutted out his lower jaw.

"What! Aww come on, don't feel bad I was just fooling!"

"How dare you inthult my fayth!"

"I am curious to know how you got yellow teeth. As a matter of fact I find them cool!" Blanky waved her hands around in an attempt to dispell his anger.

"Do you know who I am!?" He stopped his raging and his face softened, allowing his grin to return. "... Oh. Well then."

"But how did you make your teeth yellow? I'd like coloured teeth too!"

Turbo was about to reply when a blue robotic-looking woman dashed straight at them jumped in and landed butt first onto Turbo. "HIYA PEEPS!"

Turbo was, of course, completely mashed by her rear end and could only force out a small whimper.

"Oh, hi Ionia! Long time no see!" Blanky had met Ionia a while back and the two had made friends pretty quickly. She waved and then noticed that the small man was under Ionia's posterior. "Aww poor thing, he's squashed!"

After a small pause Ionia wiggled herself around to see if there was something under her and, sure enough, she felt Turbo pancaked under her. She peered down and grinned sheepishly. "Hm? Oh! Heh, whoops."

Blanky reached a hand underneath Ionia and yanked Turbo out, dusted him off and fluffed him up a bit. He just let out groaning sounds as he wobbled on the spot. "Hgnnn bleh!"
Blanky sat him down on a nearby rock and tilted her head, concerned for his wellbeing. "You ok?"

Turbo was obviously suffering from the blow and seemed out for the count. "Brickth and lollipopth and poop and..."

Ionia watched him with wide eyes and burst into fits of laughter over what was coming out of his mouth.

"Aww, you're a cute little fella!" Blanky smiled and pinched his cheeks, something that Turbo wasn't very fond of people doing. He flailed his arms weakly as she continued to do it, rocking awkwardly on his rocky seat. "So cute, so cute, so cute!"

Ionia tilted her head and leaned sideways to get a better look at what was going on. "Hey-o. Whatcha... Whatcha doin' there?"

Blanky, thinking she meant something different, turned her head a little to answer the question. "Me? I'm back in town, to visit the Dastardlys. Y'know? That new game that got plugged in recently. Dastardly and Muttley. His whole family is around here now." She paused a little and flushed a shade of pink. "And Birkin. But, right now I'm gushing over Turbo here!"

"I was..." Ionia pointed to Turbo's now red cheeks. "Talking about what you were doing to him. It looked fun." Her face contorted into a sinister grin to which Turbo replied with a defensive whine. "HNNNNNN!"

"Ah I see! My bad." She stopped pinching his cheeks and turned to face Ionia properly. "What are you doing here Ionia?"

"I was following hi..." She stopped herself mid-sentence, a sudden sinking feeling overwhelming her over what she almost said. "No! I wasn't following him! I was doing something totally unrelated in the exact same direction as him purely out of coincidence!"

"Oh really?" Blanky gave her a knowing smile. "And what was the 'totally unrelated thing in the same direction purely out of coincidence thing' you were doing?"

Ionia eyes darted around nervously. "I was... Was..." Her eyes fixed on a rock on the ground. "Coming here to tell this rock off! Y-yeah! Bad rock!" She pointed at it pretending to tell it off.

Blanky folded her arms and raised a brow. "Coming to tell a rock off? What did it do?"

"I, er..." Ionia was startled for a second by the sound of Turbo dribbling. "It made a pee pee on my carpet!"

Birkin folded his arms and gave Blanky a knowing look and Blanky returned the look with a grin. "It did, did it?"

"I was clearly not following him. Nope." Ionia shook her head frantically.

Blanky grinned at the pair and began to envision them together. It was sweet in an odd way. Her face tinged pink again, but her thoughts came to a screeching halt as Turbo began to sing like a drunk man just leaving a bar.

"Birdth and beeth and BUTTERFLIETH!"

Ionia clonked him on the top of his helmet in an attempt to shake him out of his dazed state, but was just met with strange protest. "Oooooowww. No Moooom, I'm not going to thchool!"

"Well, that's interesting! Aww they like each other!" Blanky clasped her hands together and made a sweet face at them both.

Ionia's eyes widened. "WHAT!? Me? Like HIM!?" She pointed at Turbo who was now dribbling all down his chin and sucking his thumb.

"Well, yeah. The very fact you smacked him just now proves that."

Turbo interrupted them again and started his drunk man singing. "Ten chubby angelth with big fat wingth. To heavy to fly they crath into thingth."

Ionia, the confused expression on her face getting worse by the second, smacked him again, all the while keeping her eyes on Blanky. "It does!?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"I don't get it..." Ionia's eye began to twitch a little, a rection she was all but used to. She tended to fritz when nervous or confused. Thankfully for her, Blanky changed the subject.

"I don't believe we've met before Turbo." She slowly walked to the still dazed racer and held out her badge. "I'm police officer Blanky Wood."

Ionia instantly flinched knowing that if Turbo snapped out of hiz daze that he wouldn't care for seeing a badge like that. "Shit! Er, I mean..." She took Turbo's arm and puppeteered him to wave, mimicking his voice out the corner of her mouth. "Hi."

However, Turbo's eyes lit up at the sight of the badge. "Shiiiinyyyy!" He reached for badge and fell off his rock in the process. Ionia instantly reacted and caught him before he could land on the hard ground in a heap. "Mleh."

She sighed and looked him over. "You'd think he'd be better protected wearing a helmet."
Blanky nodded and returned her badge to her inner pocket. "Well, lucky him to be wearing one at all."

Birkin was watching Ionia's every move with a small smirk on his face. He was quite the judge of character and he thought he had the two sussed out. He leaned in towards Blanky and whispered in her ear. "They are SO into each other."

Blanky fought back giggles and whispered back. "I noticed too. Of course they will never admit it, they're as stubborn as each other!"

Ionia had taken to slapping Turbo about a bit to try and get him to wake up. "Ooo ooo. Big summer blow out!"

A short while after, Turbo stopped Ionia's hand and glared up at her from in her arms. "THTOP HITTING ME YOU THTUPID WOMAN!"

Ionia breathed a sigh of relief as a small puff of mist escaped from her vents. "There, all back to normal."

The small man just rubbed his head and grumbled profanities under his breath.

"Don't be mad Turbo, she cant help the way she feels. I'm sure she doesn't mean you any harm."

Turbo scoffed and continued glaring up at Ionia. "Doethn't mean me any harm... HMPH!"

Ionia smiled widely as she began to rock him like a baby to mock him. "Awww is the likkul baby pouting?"

Blanky let out a sigh and clasped her hands together again. "Aww, now kiss!"

Turbo's head instantly snapped round to look at Blanky. "What!?"

"Well its obvious you want to!"

"It tho ith not!"

Ionia just continued to rock him like a baby, enjoying her moment of sarcastic triumph.

"Aww what a sweet sight!"

Turbo glared at Blanky, his eyes flaring. "That ith dithguthting."

"Hey!" Blanky put her hands on her hips and gave him an unimpressed look. "Don't be like that, Ionia is lovely!"

He grumbled and rolled his eyes. "The ith my friend, yeth."

Birkin chuckled. "Don't try kidding us. We know you guys are doing the super muchacho mambo in secret."

Upon hearing what Birkin had said, Ionia instantly dropped Turbo in shock, her eyes as wide as saucers. "What the..." The racer let out a yelp as his butt hit the hard ground.
Blanky leaned towards Birkin and nodded. "Good one. Now, let's leave them to be together for a while!"

Turbo overheard them and shot to his feet. "NO! DON'T!" He proceeded to walk up to Birkin with a frown. Birkin couldn't help but laugh inwardly over just how small he was compared to him. The man was barely 4 feet off the ground, it was almost cute.

"That wath uncalled for!" Turbo stomped his feet.

"It's true though, right? I mean, it's so obvious you guys are making whale noises together."

Turbo's mouth shot open, feigning disgust he turned his back on him. "Ugh!"

Ionia had heard and was going through a range of emotions all at once. "Oh dear. Oh my." Her eye began to twitch again. "Gah!"

Turbo heard Ionia's gasps, looked towards her and noticed that she was fritzing again. "Keep that glitch under control, my dear." He paused as his heart skipped a beat, realizing what he had just said. "Er, I mean..." He did his best to keep up appearances by yelling and hoped they hadn't noticed his slip up. "THTOP GLITCHING!"

Ionia just hiccupped loudly as Birkin eyed Turbo with a sly grin. "You said dear. Hah."

"No. I thaid... Beer. Yeah. Beer."

Birkin and Blanky tilted their head at him and stifled their mirth. "Is she going to be OK?"

"It'th OK. Ionia does that when theth nervouth. Or confuthed. Or exthited. Or luthtful."

The pair almost fell about laughing and Birkin leaned down towards Turbo's face and grinned. "How would YOU know?"

The racer froze to the spot and twitched. He didn't know how to react to that at all.

"Poor thing; I sympathise. I too get nervous around a certain gentleman." Blanky laughed and batted her eyelashed in Birkin's direction to which he responded by scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

After a moment, Turbo finally snapped himself out of it and decided to react after all. He pulled back a leg and kicked Birkin in the shin.

"YEEOWCH!"

Satisfied, he stomped back to Ionia and slapped her butt to get her out of her glitching state.

"THANK YOU DARRRLIII... er... " She clasped her hands around her mouth. Turbo hissed. "Shhh!"

Birkin rubbed at his shin and frowned. "Little shit. No wonder they unplugged your game."

Turbo just stuck out his tongue and watched as Blanky went over to check to see if he was alright. "Where does it hurt?"

"No biggie, just my shin. I've had worse." Birkin chuckled hinting at the incident with the G-Virus.

Blanky nodded and pulled out her travel first aid kit from her inner jacket pocket and took out a band aid. She could see a small cut where the skin had split from the kick Turbo had given him. After placing it on his shin she stood up and put her kit back to its original place.

As the two were occupied, Turbo took the opportunity to check on Ionia. He patted her leg and looked up at her sympathetically. "Better?" Ionia just smiled softly and nodded.

"Better now, Birkin?" Blanky was satisfied with her patch up job.

"Yeah, thanks."

It was then the pair noticed Turbo and Ionia staring at each other and Birkin shook his head. "Jeeze, just get it over with already."

Turbo spun on his heels. "What?"

"What do you mean Birkin?" Blanky looked at him and then returned her gaze to the two in front of her.

"If they aren't making whale noises. Then it's about high time they did! The sexual tension is so damn obvious."

"That doeth it!"Turbo was having none of it. His face flushed red as he rolled up his sleeve and started to stomp his way over to Birkin. Ionia managed to dive in quickly and picked Turbo up by the collar leaving him flailing and punching the air.

Blanky held the cackling Birkin back so Turbo didn't punch him and yelped. "Well!" She said trying to change the subject. "I'd best be off, its getting late. You're welcome to join me, Birkin"

He stumbled forward and brushed his lab coat off a little deflated that he couldn't at least continue the little fight he had going. "Fine, fine." He hobbled slowly off and looked back to Turbo and Ionia and rolled his eyes as Turbo began to pull childish faces at him.

Ionia, forgetting herself, pulled the little racer in for a hug. "You're so cute when you're angry."

"HNNNN GHHHHHGGNNNHH IONIA... THEY.... NOT GONE!"

"Oops."

Birkin stopped and pointed at them. "Hah! Caught you!"

Blanky smirked. "Let's leave them. Why should they have all the fun?"

Birkin, understanding her meaning, hooked an arm around her waist. "Indeed." He turned back to wave at Ionia and Turbo. "Have fun doing the horizontal pogo guys!"

Ionia's eyes widened and she instantly dropped Turbo again.

"YARGH!"

Blanky and Birkin, now satisfied, started to wander off to the train carts to take them to Game Station as Turbo, glad they were finally leaving, started to crawl into a nearby bush for shelter from any more injury. "Ngggh."

Ionia looked at the bush with Turbo inside, back at Birkin, back to the bush and back to Birkin again who had stopped for one last look. She grinned widely at him and pointed at the bush. Birkin, knowing exactly what she meant, gave her a small salute and watched as she dived in after Turbo.

"GERONIMOOOOO!"

Cola

It had been a month since Litwak had installed a new Turbo Time machine due to a request from a resident. There had been 3 other games installed a week after the new Turbo Time was brought in and the characters from it were still getting adjusted to socializing with the regulars of the arcade. A Dastardly & Muttley game where you flew planes to try and catch a pigeon, a new version of Soul Calibur and a game called 'Oh, Ionia' based on the popular sci-fi fantasy comic and animation series where you'd have to fly around defending villages.

Ionia, the star of the game, had managed to fit in well with the Sugar Rush characters, Ralph and Felix and would often visit when the arcade closed. She just loved the way the Sugar Rush world looked and smelled and enjoyed flying over the candy cane forest and perching herself on the tops to watch the racers do what they did best. Ralph got on with her well enough, though he found her clumsy and a little socially awkward. Felix found her charming, though he knew his wife did not share this notion. She was indifferent to say the least.

The new Turbo was, as he had been before, self-absorbed, only interested in his game and deemed himself superior to the Sugar Rush racers. However, he had one thing different to the previous incarnation. He hadn't invaded another game.

Ralph and Felix had taken it upon themselves to shadow Turbo's every move when out of his game to make sure that it didn't happen again. Felix, being the optimist he was, didn't suspect that he would ever do it. After all, it was a different version of him and the circumstances were entirely different. There was no Road Blasters game in the arcade and the Sugar Rush characters had already made it perfectly clear that they'd have no shenannigans or there'd be Ralph to deal with. Ralph, on the other hand, was always suspicious of him and felt that he shouldn't let his guard down no matter what.

However, something had happened that had caused somewhat of a stir in the group. Ionia and Turbo had developed a friendship, something Ralph did not think was even possible. He couldn't help but feel this was entirely fake on Turbo's part and that he had a hidden agenda. Old habits, as they say, die hard. He had followed the two into Sugar Rush after the arcade closed and watched them like a hawk as they greeted the racers.

Taffyta Muttonfudge leaned against her cart and grinned at the pair as they slowly made their way into the clearing they were all stood in. "Well, hey there." She tossed a lollipop around in her hands and nodded to Ralph and Felix who slumped on a nearby fudge mound. "Long day, huh?"

Vanellope scoffed. "Naaah, long schmong! These guys are tough." She punched the air to make her point sending a ripple of giggles through the group.

"Well, it was down right fun, if you ask me." Felix grinned widely and patted his golden hammer. "I think it was the best day so far! We had a lot of quarter alerts."

"Yeah, well, you're not the one having to land on your butt every time are you?" Ralph whirled his eyes around and rubbed at his lower back in protest. "After 15 quarter alerts it starts to hurt a bit."

Ionia let out a laugh, a little too loud than what she had intended. She instantly slapped her hands over her mouth and stifled her giggles.

"You wanna trade places, Blue?" Ralph looked over to her with an unimpressed expression plastered on his face.

"Nah! I'm good!" She waved frantically in reply and continued to stifle her giggles through a giant, beaming grin and leaned down to Turbo. "Heeheehee he said butt!"

"Yes. Yes he did." Turbo couldn't help but find her overreaction somewhat amusing and cracked a small smirk. Normally such behaviour would be above him, but he was in a good mood. His game had brought in many quarters that day and he felt the need to celebrate regardless of the company.

Taffyta nudged Candlehead who was stood beside her and nodded to Ralph. "Yeah, it's OK. She won't trade places with you. After all, she will probably be busy later." Vanellope ended up in a laughing heap on the floor over the comment.

Ralph had no idea what she meant by that, or why Vanellope was in hysterics so he just cocked an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"Oh, yeah. By the way, Ionia?" She swung her head to look at Ionia with a sly grin on her face. "Tell me." She licked her lollipop and chuckled. "Is Turbo a good kisser?"

A sharp intake of breath was heard from a few of those assembled and it fell silent.

"What? I-I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Ionia began to fiddle nervously with her armour in an attempt to cast aside the question.

"Oh, come on! We're all friends here." Taffyta shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "What's he like?"

Vanellope had turned purple from all her laughing and stood up to try and catch her breath, but as soon as she caught sight of Turbo's shocked face she fell over once again.

"Wait, wait, wait." Ralph flailed his arms around. "What exactly are you blabbering on about?" He got up and stomped his way over to Taffyta who just plopped her lollipop back into her mouth and pointed at Ionia and Turbo back and fourth without a word.

"Oh my." Felix scuttled over. "Th-That's not your business, young lady."

Turbo waved his hands wildly, but no words would come out of his mouth. "Hmn nuhh nnnn!"

"See!" Felix tilted his head and raised his brows. "That's clearly just a bunch of hearsay hoo hah."

"Haha, no." Vanellope had managed to calm herself as much as she could and clambered up to her feet with the aid of Taffyta's cart. "Y-see. They're all smoochie and it's gross and they have cooties..." She fell about laughing again.

"Well, I don't believe that." Felix frowned at the group. "I don't think it's fair to make up such stories about people. Do you?"

Taffyta just shrugged and looked back to Ionia who was still fiddling with her armour. "S'not made up."

"Now see here..." Felix clenched his fists, he didn't enjoy getting angry, but when it came to friends and doing what was right he couldn't help it. "I'll not have you dragging her good name through the mud! You've only known her a short time. What makes you think you can jud..." He was interrupted by Ionia who could tell that they wouldn't let it go no matter how much she protested and that a fight would break out should she stay silent.

"Damn good."

With that Turbo fell over backwards and the entire group just stared at her in silence.

"R-Really?" Candlehead chuckled nudging Taffyta out of her shock. "He is?"

Ionia just nodded.

"Wow. Who'd have thought that?"

"Wait, wait..." Vanellope, free of her hysteria, got to her feet and pulled a confused face at Ionia. "Are you telling me that..." She jabbed a finger in Turbo's direction as he clung to a candy cane tree for support. "HE is good at smoooooching?" She made a kissy face and grinned up at Ralph whose face was a mixture of anger, confusion and disgust.

"Yeah. The best I've ever had, actually." Ionia's face was deadpan as she assisted Turbo and propped him against another tree nearby.

Suddenly curious, though she suspected that it was more morbid curiosity than anything else, Taffyta stepped forwards. She couldn't tell if she was being serious, or was pulling their legs. "So, what's he taste like?"

Down Turbo went again, followed by a chorus of 'ugh', 'yuck' and 'ew'.

"Wh-What?" Ionia's face flushed pink at the question. Being asked about kissing was one thing, but such details were something she would never normally discuss, let alone get asked about. "He, well..."

Felix frowned at Taffyta. "That's none of your beeswax, pardon my pottymouth!"

Vanellope hopped forwards and shoved Felix back into Ralph. "Come on, Ionia. Tell us, we wanna know. Does he taste like smoke?"

"Or oil?" Laughed Minty.

Rancis pulled a face. "Cigarettes?"

"Or," chuckled Taffyta, "All of the above?"

Ionia's eyes darted from Turbo's face to the racers and back again. He was sweating in his racing suit and she could tell he was not impressed by the onslaught of personal questions. She had to do something to stop them asking. "Cola, actually."

"WHAT!?"

"Yeah, Cola. I know, it sounds unexpected. But he tastes of cola. Fizzy, sweet, sugary cola."

"EWWW!"

"Mmmm, so lovely." Ionia made overexaggerated smoochie faces in an attempt to gross them all out and, thankfully, it seemed to work. "I love his cooties." She took hold of Turbo by the collar and drew him, flailing wildly, up to her face and planted a smacker on his lips. He flapped around and squawked against her before she plonked him back down on his feet, albeit a little wobbly. All the racers screamed in terror at the sight, jumped into their carts and drove off as fast as they could leaving Ralph and Felix with them.

Ionia brushed herself off and began to walk towards the exit, Turbo wobbling and weaving behind her. Ralph and Felix gave each other a look, shrugged and followed them.

"So..." Finally, Ralph broke the silence and watched as Turbo nearly ran smack into a wall due to his current state. "Was that a load of bull s-"

"SUGAR!" Felix would always try to censor Ralph's swearing whenever he could and, despite being stunned by what had just happened, he still found it in himself to do so.

"Yeah, that. Was that a load of bull sugar?"

Ionia glanced back as she continued to the train carts. "Hm? Which bit? The bit about me and him?" She pointed to Turbo who was having a hard time focusing on the seat and ended up sitting on the floor instead. "Or, the bit about cola?"

"Yeah, all that."

She grinned. "No, he really does taste of cola."

The train carts pulled off to a series of disgusted noises from Ralph and Felix, Turbo's howling as the pressure finally broke him and Ionia's satisfied laughter.